I’m a “why?” person. I guess I should make that a “how?” and “why?” person. I like to know how and why things, and people, are the way they are, or do the things they do. I can accept that the answers may not be readily forthcoming, but I am compelled to wonder and to ask.
When I observe Lia, I see little “how?” and “why?” bubbles pop up all around her. Here are a few examples:
Why does she always tip a spoonful of food over the edge of her bowl when she eats?
Why does she like to hit when someone new comes into the room?
Why does she ask for Mom all day and then get aggressive when she comes home?
How can she be perfectly happy one minute, and furious the next?
How does she see herself?
How can she not like chocolate? (Ok, that one is a little ethnocentric)
Over time, I have arrived at the conclusion that I may never have answers for most of these questions, and I am learning to accept that reality. So, instead, I try to focus on just one “how?” – how can I help her live the best life that SHE can live.